Love You Out Loud
by SinsofMidnight
Summary: Part 2 of my "Secrets" series (inspired by Alphonseelric22's "Love in Silence"). Three months have passed since the last incident, but thirty minutes in Roy's office change things in way neither one ever imagined they would! Extensive cirtus-y content. Extensively revision in progress!
1. Chapter 1

_Editing is always a difficult process for me. It's long, tedious, and frequently boring._

_However, editing is always worthwhile, because through editing, I can make this better for the people who love it._

_So! Greet the edit in progress for "Love You Out Loud"._

* * *

**_Love You Out Loud_**

**_Fandom: _**_Full Metal Alchemist_

**_Teaser:_**_ " 'You idiot!" he yelled at me. "Don't you have enough sense to know when someone is _attracted_ to you?!' he demanded, still pressing me against the desk with his body. I had to contain my own shiver –he felt so good pressed up against me like this! 'Shall we review my 'symptoms'? Let's see… flushed face, irregular breathing, hot, shivering, and feeling faint. It doesn't exactly take an alchemaic genius to add all of that up and get 'arousal', Roy!' "_

**_Inspiration:_**_ This fic is the sequel to "The Secrets We Keep"._

**_Rating:_**_ M because no one can spell alchemy without it!_

**_Warnings:  
_**_-Yaoi  
-More questionable sex  
-Denial  
-Lies  
-Revelations  
-Dumb things ._

**_Main Pairing: _**_Edward Elric / Roy Mustang_

**_Minor Pairings Mentioned:  
_**_-Maes Hughes / Gracia Hughes,  
-Alphonse Elric/Winry Rockbell_

**_Setting: _**_Pretty cannon setting, but definitely an alternate timeline. And, there was no smut in the anime(s) :P_

**_POV: _**_Ed and Roy switch off pretty consistently. First person perspective for both._

**_Summary:_**_ Three months have passed since the last incident, but thirty minutes in Roy's office change things in way neither one ever imagined they would!_

**_Additional ANs: _**_A few helpful facts: Ed is 22 and still has his automail (and he can still do alchemy), Roy doesn't have the eye patch (nor has he lost his sight), and Maes is still alive. Need any more proof that this isn't cannon? :P  
PS: The title was borrowed from a Rascal Flatts song that really has nothing to do with the story. It's still a good song, though, lol.  
This most recent update (June 2013) features some changes. There are some changes to the sentences, some to the grammar, some to the structure… The entire story has been updated to reflect my current level as an author, which has progressed greatly from the original version of this story, which contained some of my very first male/male scenes. As such, the sex scenes have seen some dramatic editing and changes. There were some details which were incredibly unrealistic, and I changed them to reflect what would be true in such a situation. So buckle up, batten down the hatches, and enjoy this extensive edit of "Love You Out Loud"._

**_Universe:_**_ This is part of my "Secrets" universe (which also includes the story written by Alphonseelric22).  
This story is part two, and comes after "The Secrets We Keep"._

**_Word Count:_**_ The original had 6328 words. I'll get back to you on the word count for the edited version~  
_

* * *

_Roy:_

"Why in the hell are you _avoiding_ me, Fullmetal?" I demanded, glaring at him from behind my desk.

As I continued to glare at him intently, I watched his adam's apple bob up and down in his throat. "I'm _not _avoiding you, Mustang. Avoiding you would mean failing to show for reports or mission briefings, neither of which have I done."

Fine. If he wanted to be all technical about it, I supposed he was correct. He wasn't avoiding _me,_ per say, so much as avoiding any circumstance that would leave him alone with me. After three months of this behavior, even _Havoc _was noticing something wasn't right.

I may have made the decision to love him in silence, but this… _this_ was ridiculous. I had no idea what was going on in his head, but enough was enough! The things I'd thought I'd be preserving by not telling him how I felt about him were going up in smoke, anyway, and I couldn't see any way to stop it if her wouldn't even _talk _to me!

"If you called me in here to ask that question, then I'm going home, Mustang. Have a nice weekend." He was already off the couch and three foot from the door before I could blink.

_Have a nice life,_ was what I heard. It was the same tone of voice, the emphasis was on the same syllables.

"Sit down, Fullmetal," I spat, snapping my gloved fingers as if summoning a flame to show him just how angry I was. The flame flickered to life quickly enough, eagerly drinking of the oxygen in the room like a famished man.

I didn't like being dismissed so easily by anyone, let alone by _him_, the object of my desire for such a long time. It _hurt _that it was so easy for him to walk away from me, for him to turn his back on me, for him to _ignore_ me as though I were nothing more than an annoying insect.

Even _Edward Elric_ knew better than to ignore that tone. When he turned around and glimpsed the flame growing in my hand, I watched those honey-gold eyes widen slightly and his hands began to tremble against his stationary thighs. He _knew_ what the fire meant –there was no way that he _didn't_ know, not with how long I'd been his CO, not with how angry he used to make me just because he could.

As he walked back toward the couch, I studied him intently. His gate was just as fluid and sensuous as ever, but each footstep was measured, precise. For once in his life, Edward actually recognized a situation in which he needed to tread lightly.

"Anything else, Mustang?" he inquired sarcastically as he dropped down onto the couch.

Alright, fine. Now he was going out of his way to provoke me. For a genius, there were some things he was pretty stupid about, and knowing when to push and when to comply was definitely one of them.

I stared head on into those golden eyes and repeated my question. "Why are you avoiding me?" Opening my hand wider and splaying my fingers, I allowed the flame to enlarge further.

It might have been because I was staring into his eyes as if _they _would be able to tell me something, but this time my inquiry was met with a rich blush and an answering unflinching stare. "It's none of your damn _business,_ Colonel. Is that all?"

Closing my eyes, I counted to ten. Backwards. In German. I released a sigh when I realized it wasn't working: I wasn't getting any less angry. Next up were deep soothing breaths. Instead of the usual technique, I inhaled deeply once and held it. Silently, I tried to feed all of my anger into the flame to be eaten up and consumed. When I exhaled and opened my eyes, I felt a bit better. "I want to know _why,_ Elric."

_No,_ something in my mind taunted cruelly, _you _need _to know. Losing the attention of a single child has reduced you to almost begging for answers. How pathetic._

"I'm not going to tell you, _Bastard,_ so you can go straight to hell," he returned evenly.

It never ceased to amaze me that he would resort to some of the most childish tactics when he wanted out of something. Then again, it never stopped stunning me just how much it hurt each time he told me to go to hell.

_Hm. Should I tell him I'm already in it? That he should stop saying such a useless phrase because he already put me there?_ I wondered almost absently.

By this point, the flame I'd tried to feed my anger overwhelmed my hand in size –it was still in a contained shape, still bound by my will. I allowed my eyes to stray back to his face, noting that he worried his lower lip between his teeth. I repeated my inquiry. "Why are you avoiding me, Edward?"

My voice came out soft, almost timid. I hated that I wanted to know while at the same time, I was scared of whatever truth might slip past his lips. I hated that he had so much control over me. N_o one _had ever had so much control over me, because I'd never let them. But Ed… he just snuck in past my guard, and I was something ten times worse than wrapped around his little finger.

_I hate how easily he can destroy my cool. One little look, one cocky statement, one terse report and I'm so enflamed that I can't control my emotions at all!_ I wanted to shake my head.

I'd decided to love in silence, and it hurt. How was it that maintaining the silence hurt so much more than rejection? Or maybe the pain I was going through was because he _was_ rejecting me, without even knowing how I felt.

_What did I gain by choosing silence?_

* * *

_Edward:_

_Oh _fuck,_ he's pissed!_

If there was a relationship between his rage and the size of the flame in his hand… Well, I wanted to know just how screwed I was if that was the case.

I did three quick calculations in my head. Sucking in a breath, I decided that it would be best if his rage was inversely proportional to the flame for the time being, but in all actuality, it was more likely to be directly proportional.

All calculations aside, I had no doubt that I would be toast –or perhaps a charcoal briquette– if I chose to keep the reason hidden from him any longer. And, much as he did look like an idiot child next to me when it came to alchemy, he tended to make _me _look like the idiot child when it came to deductive reasons in relation to people _and _long term planning. Unfortunately for me, he was _not _going to miss the 'coincidence' in the timing. I was surprise he hadn't picked up on it yet, actually.

Those obsidian eyes widened slightly and the flame shrunk to the size of a small marble in a matter of moments. "Three months… Edward, did I… did I do something… inappropriate… three months ago?"

I _hated_ the look that crept into his eyes when he thought about Ishval. It put distance between us and glimmered sadly, as though to show only a mere fraction of the melancholy and guilt that consumed him at points.

_You just put a ton of distance between you,_ the voice in my head told me conversationally.

_Yes,_ I snipped back in reply. _Hence me hating myself._

I couldn't let him leap to horrific conclusions while I simply stewed things over in my mind.

I swallowed hard. "No. You didn't do anything wrong."

Some would consider that a lie. After all, he _had _come on to me and had sex with me. Yet I believed the blame lay heavily on my shoulders. I'd known he was drunk, that he was just reaching out for the nearest body, that he just needed to drown the pain away for the night. It was _my _thoughts, _my _actions, _my_ poor judgment which continued to trouble me so. I had taken advantage of him. He turned to me when he was vulnerable, and I took advantage of him,

Though advantages were obviously taken on both sides, I was the sober one. I was the one who knew exactly what I was doing.

"Then _why,_ Ed?" He looked so sad, I realized. _But why should he be so saddened and at the same time so enraged by me simply avoiding being alone with him? I mean, that shouldn't cause pain to anyone but me!_

"It's nothing. Really," I assured him, still puzzled by his reaction. "Just… don't worry about it, alright?"

"It's obviously _not '_nothing', Edward," he returned, arching an eyebrow as he restlessly ignited a second fire in the palm of his hand.

This time I knew that the fire didn't signify anything but restlessness. Roy Mustang was, in the simplest terms, a pyromaniac. I knew him well enough to know that he lit fires when he was angry, happy, frustrated or bored, and I knew how to distinguish one fire from another. The size of the fire varied with each mood –as did the fuel for the fire– so it was the simplest gage of his emotional state. The angry fires were sizable and normally maintained in the palm of his hand despite the apparently uncontrollable size. His happy fires were smaller, more controlled, but still in the palm of his hand. Bored fires tended to consume objects –like sizable piles of paperwork, charred down to nothing more than ashes.

But a restless fire… well, it was a lesser observed phenomenon. As far as I knew, they were new and pretty unique in the fact that they only occurred when I was in his office with him. They were normally more medium sized fires, always in the palm of his hand and always without any additional fuel than alchemy and oxygen. I wasn't quite sure what to make of the fact that said fires only happened near me, but I could still tell them apart from the others, so I was tentatively okay with such things.

"If you continue to refuse to answer me, I will keep you in this room all weekend." The normal smirk was back in place and I wanted to wipe it off his smug face.

_You fucking _bastard_, _I raged in my mind._ I've barely returned from a mission! Al is waiting on me –waiting to hear how the mission went, waiting to see for himself that I'm okay. _Of course, that was when I actually thought about the connotation of the words more than their effect on my plans. _Oh, gods, I really don't think spending a weekend alone with him is a good idea in _any _universe…_

Molten desire pooled in my veins and my cock began to harden against the tight restraint of my leather pants. In a single instant, I was so hard that it hurt. I was torn between being thankful for my preference for leather pants because it concealed something I'd rather not show and being angry because it _really freaking hurt!_ My restless mind wandered into the area I never wanted it to head. Sensual images flashed before my mind's eye and I wondered if there was any real way to stab it and blind it, because it certainly was _not _helping anything about this situation.

I had to fight against my arousal, on the side of survival instincts, and hide the moan that curled up into the back of my throat and begged to be voice. I had to keep him from noticing my arousal –which was an almost impossible task, considering that this man had to know arousal better than almost anyone else, considering the amount he caused and luxuriated in.

I had to hide my response to him, to his words, because I would not be able to stand it if he looked on me with disgust.

So I kept it all to myself, hidden within my treacherous mind. I kept on wanting him, kept on loving him, kept on needing him –all in order to maintain the silence. Because if I broke that silence, I knew my control would shatter then and there, as well.

* * *

_Argh! Just watched part of "Brotherhood" again . All the feels!_

_But for this AU, such as it is, I fear I best stick to the first anime. Still has all the feels… just has more similarities with this AU than Brotherhood does…_

_I hope that this edit has improved things… Let me know? Please review or PM me and let me know how you liked this chapter this way, if you hated what I did, if you thought I should have just left things as they were… ect. Just let me know, alright?_

_Ever at your pleasure,  
~Sins~_


	2. Chapter 2

_I'm certain that even the second time through, some of you were eagerly awaiting this chapter. The first chapter is all well and good, but it's mostly setting things up for the rest of the story so that all of the other things make some semblance of sense and connect to the previous story…_

_So! Prepare for the great feeling revelation –well, lust revelation, haha. Feeling revelations come later :P_

_Enjoy the show~_

* * *

_Roy:_

His skin was strangely flushed.

I'd noticed it just after I'd uttered my last threat –detaining him all weekend in the office. It was a threat that I would never follow through on, because I knew for a fact that I would have him pinned up against a wall within minutes of the building emptying, whether he wanted it or not. Seeing as I liked to consider myself a good person, there was no way in hell that I would ever allow those circumstances to form. Ergo, it was a completely empty threat, voiced only for the sake of getting the answer I wanted out of him.

Still, the bright color in his face was worrisome. He _had_ been away for a while now. Had he gotten sick while he was on the mission? Mission conditions tended to involve a semi-regular lack of sleep, a high level of stress, and little to no time to properly take care of oneself. Not the mention, Edward seemed to hate doctors and hospitals. I normally had to force him to stay in the hospital when he required medical assistance, because the little fool would much rather work through it.

Still, I knew that I would be wallowing in guilt if he got seriously ill from a single stupid mission that _I _had sent him on.

It was funny how nothing else –not even a mission that had been so pressing that I had needed to send a State Alchemist to deal with it– seemed to matter at all when the alchemist in question was Edward Elric.

I let the small fire I'd been manipulating in the palm of my hand go out completely.

"Ed, are you alright?" I asked softly, afraid that there was no stemming the concern I was feeling.

His smile was weak –almost feeble– and he took a deep breath before offering me a response of any kind. Despite that, his voice was still breathy when he responded. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Frowning and wondering just how he'd managed to compromised his health, I rose from my seat. As I crossed the room, I tugged off one glove with ease. When I stood before him, his gaze was wide and puzzled. I placed my wrist against the skin of his forehead, noting the way his silky hair seemed to carress my skin. Those wide golden eyes continued to stare up at me, full of curiosity and something else I couldn't quite place.

"R-Roy?" he inquired, his voice soft and hesitant.

My gaze shot to his immediately. He very rarely used my first name at all, and when he used it this time, it somehow sounded like a hesitant caress. "Hmm?" I responded, not wanting to give away the way that his voice had affected me. Something inside of me still felt like my feelings would be a weapon in his hands.

"What are you doing?" he inquired, sounding infinitely puzzled by the action.

I wanted to frown. Had it been so long since someone had cared enough about his health that he'd forgotten what such a gesture meant? "I'm checking for fever," I replied evenly, concentrating on the heat that radiated from his skin and trying to get an accurate notion of it

* * *

_Edward:_

I wanted to snort. _Yeah, genius, I have a fever –a fever that you are the cause and end of._

When he stepped back, my gaze followed the motion. I couldn't wrap my head around how sensual he was when he moved –even when he seemed to be worried over my health. A shiver raced shuddered down the length of my spine in spite of the control I was trying to maintain over my body and its reactions to his nearness.

"Ed, maybe you should go home now." His obsidian eyes seemed to swirl with concern, and all traces of the demanding anger he's shown earlier had entirely disappeared. It was as though every other emotion had fled him when he realized I might be in trouble. "I think you might be ill."

_Are you happy now?_ I wanted to ask him. _This was exactly why I wouldn't allow myself to be alone with you! When you do something kind for me, when you forget our argument and your eyes fill with concern like that, all I want to do is pin you against that desk and kiss you until you can't see straight! Having you so close to me, when I can smell your scent and feel your breath against my skin, it makes me dizzy._

"Maybe I should," I acknowledged, more than happy to let him believe that this had all been his idea if it meant that I got to leave. I really needed to get out of here before my response to him made me do something stupid that I couldn't undo, even with all of the alchemy at my disposal. "I think I feel a little faint," I admitted, hoping that it would make my claim seem all the more demanding to him.

He stepped closer once more, the bare fingers of his left hand brushing against the overheated flesh of my left arm.

"Your hands are so cool," I marveled softly. "It feels good." Shouldn't hands that played with fire so frequently be warm or hot to the touch? It seemed paradoxical that they were so cool and so soft against my skin.

_Fuck, why is he getting closer to me? I thought we had established that I needed to get out of here!_

With a soft smile, he withdrew only long enough to tug of the glove on his right hand and place it against the skin of my warm forehead. "Is that better?" he inquired, his tone gentle.

I sighed in contentment and leaned into his touch, needing to feel his skin against mine, at least for this moment in time. "Yeah, it is. Thank you," I told him.

He lifted his left hand and placed it against my cheek, an amused sparkle dancing in his dark eyes.

As if by some twisted sensual instinct, I turned my head slightly, my lips brushing a soft sweet kiss against the cool skin of his palm.

_Ah, fuck. I should have just left when I had the chance,_ I yelled at myself.

* * *

_Roy:_

I knew that I was just standing there, blinking like an idiot, but it had really surprised me!

_What in the hell… what in the hell is he up to?_

When Ed's lips had brushed so gently across my skin, I'd shivered where I stood, staring blankly at the wall for a moment.

_What in the hell are you _doing,_ Ed?_ I looked to him when I'd regained my sense of self, wondering if he was delirious from the fever.

"S-sorry," he murmured, pulling away from me. "I-I should leave."

_Wait a minute… what is going on?_

My gaze latched onto his. He'd stuttered. Edward Elric did _not _stutter. Ever. Not when he was angry, not when he was sad, not when he was laughing. Just what was up with him today? Maybe he _was_ really sick!

He still looked so very feverish. Even his golden eyes seemed to be a bit hazy. Leaning in closer, I tried to figure out what was going on with him. I heard his breathing hitch and increase. His exhales became a pulse of a air against my skin.

Still, I stared all the more intently. Somehow, it seemed that he was fighting for a measure of control. His tongue slipped out to dampen his lips slowly, and then I got to be the one clinging tightly to the control slipping through my fingers. I stared at his mouth, utterly transfixed by the tantalizing slide of his tongue against his lips.

Whatever control he had been clinging to must have slipped away completely. Without any warning, Ed launched himself at me, backing me up against my desk and holding me there under the onslaught of his hot, desperate, feverish kiss. I was so startled by the sudden change in him that I couldn't even respond to him.

When he pulled back, his breath came out in sharp puffs. "You _idiot!_" he yelled at me. "Don't you have enough sense to know when someone is _attracted _to you?!" he demanded, still pressing me against the desk with his body. I had to contain my own shiver –he felt so good pressed up against me like this! "Shall we review my 'symptoms'? Let's see… flushed face, irregular breathing, hot, shivering, and feeling faint. It doesn't exactly take an alchemaic genius to add all of that up and get 'arousal', Roy!"

I stared back at him, wide-eyed and stunned into silence by his outburst. It was as though some part of my mind couldn't process the words that had burst out of him so quickly.

How… how had I missed that? I was a most notorious ladies' man. It went without saying that I knew how to recognize arousal in its many forms, that I knew that people covered it with different things. How was it that _his _arousal and _his _way of hiding it had gone completely over my head?

_Wait a minute. 'Arousal'. 'Attraction'. Holy _fuck,_ please tell me that I haven't be beating myself up over absolutely nothing!_

* * *

_Edward:_

_Huh. And I had been under the impression that he was smarter than this._ I eyed him warily for a moment and stepped back, letting him relax against his desk and giving him some space.

I knew that some people considered me attractive, but I was not so vain as to assume that he would also be attracted to me. Giving him some space to absorb the information seemed the best option, seeing as I really didn't want to be incinerated by him. Being charred to ashes really put a cramp in the lifestyle I was currently enjoying.

Those obsidian went bright as everything seemed to dawn on him. there was a brief flash of nothingness before those eyes began to glow hotly with something I wasn't sure I'd ever seen in his eyes before. With long, purposeful strides, he reached me quickly and proceeded to force me back until I was pinned between his lean, strong body and a cool wall.

I really wasn't sure what to expect out of this situation. Hell, I hadn't meant to _cause _this situation! So I stared blankly at the floor until I heard him call my name.

"Ed." He only said the single word, but it demanded attention.

I knew the tone. I had no right to refuse him, not after what I had just done. "Ro –mmph!"

His lips covered mine a little more than halfway through his name. They moved greedily over mine, his tongue flicking out to taunt and tease and taste my lips and request entrence. I gave into him quickly, never even thinking to resist. My arms slid around him smoothly, my left hand buried deeply in the jet-black silk of his hair and my right arm holding his body tightly against mine.

The kiss was heady, needy, and almost dangerous –somehow becoming a fight for dominance under another name. Neither of us intended to back down from this at all, even if our lungs burned for oxygen. When his hand slid down past my waist and his taunting fingers danced across the length of my cock, a breathy moan slipped through my lips.

Though it was a dirty tactic –_Not like you wouldn't have used the tactical advantage if it were on your side,_ a part of me groused back– it forced me to realize that I was already too far gone, too affected by him to dominate him properly this time around. So I surrendered to him with a soft sigh, knowing that I would get a chance to take control of things later, anyway.

When his mouth moved from mine, a sound of loss escaped me and I blushed all the more.

His mouth moved to my jaw line, leaving a hot wet trail in its wake. I could feel the vibrations of his amused chuckle against my skin.

"The… the door!" I gasped out desperately, not sure I was comfortable with how quickly things were going at the moment. What if someone were to walk in on us? There was no way to explain something like this away!

I felt his hot breath against my ear. "The building is empty, Ed. Everyone went home at five –not long after you came in here."

A shaky sound of pleasure emerged from me when he began to nibble on my earlobe and I strained against the warm, giving body in front of me. "Too… many… clothes!" I panted out frantically, pulling the tails of his uniform out of his slacks and fumbling with the buttons. I'd only succeeded with three by the time I gave up in frustration and simply shoved the offending garment over his head. He let me, even as his hands worked my jacket down my arms and my shirt over my head.

With a growl, we separated to finish ridding ourselves of the suddenly too-constricting clothes. We came back together in a rash tangle of arms and legs. The wall felt cool against my bare back, a sharp contrast to the hot body that kept me there. His lips rejoined mine with a desperate hunger that made me growl in satisfaction.

This powerful and beautiful man, fully aware of the time and the surroundings and his position and mine, had chosen to take a chance with me –had chosen to _join _with me– when he became aware of my attraction to him.

Those facts alone made me delirious with delight.

* * *

_Hmm. No smut in chapter two, but enough of a tease to make you eager, right? Well, hopefully you won't be waiting too long on all-out smuttiness ^^ It's already been written once, so I shouldn't have to agonize over it as much as I normally do…_

_Let me know if you like how this chapter has changed! Leave a review or shoot me a PM, because feedback has always helped me focus on churning out the next part!_

_Ever at your pleasure,  
~Sins~_


	3. Chapter 3

_Ugh. Sex scenes always half kill me . Even though I've written this one once before, it's still a challenge to write it all over again. Here's hoping I've gotten better since I wrote this the first time… I still have so little confidence when it comes to this, even after all of the experience I've accumulated in writing them x.x_

_This is the extended version the sex scene. I've added in more detail and tried to make the scene more fluid and moving. I've also played a little more in the depths of Roy's mind and tried to paint a more definative timeline for the story set…_

_I have "Love in Silence" taking place when Ed was 19, "The Secrets We Keep" when Ed was 22, and this piece, "Love You Out Loud", a mere three months later. Obviously, someone sucked more a keeping the secret :P *ahem*_

* * *

_Roy:_

A naked and willing Edward Elric was an obvious gift from the gods. Ghosting my fingers across his skin, I caressed his jutting collarbone before sliding my fingertips down to play with the pretty, pert nipples that seemed to beg for a touch. The noise he made in his throat was as soft as the touches, so I immediately pinched the peaked skin of his left nipple. His moan was loud, wanton, throaty, and I swallowed it whole in my attempt to devour his mouth. Gods, he tasted so good!

"So sensitive," I marveled, panting as our mouths separated for a moment. His whimper of loss was soft but unmistakable. With a smirk, I turned my attention to the elegant slop of his neck. His shudder of delight sent tremors through my own body. A gentle nip here, a probing kiss there, a lazy lap with my tongue. He arched into me, providing better access to the sun-kissed flesh. I rewarded him with a light tug on his braid and set my hands about undoing the band. His hair swirled slightly, then fell behind him in a curtain of glimmering gold. I smiled against his flesh and moved on to my next target.

My tongue darted out against the skin of the hollow at the base of his neck. I could feel the tattoo of his pulse pounding against the skin. Its rythem entralleed me, and I pressed tender kisses to the skin before sucking on it lightly, knowing that particular patch of skin was likely to be highly sensitive. The breathy moan that rushed past his lips should have undone me in an instant; instead, I found myself spurred into action once more, lashing at the skin with my tongue, dragging my teeth across it –anything to draw another pleasure noise from him. Those noises were more addictive than the taste of his lips!

I'm sure I wore my signature smirk once again as I made a damp trail from his neck to his chest. Feeling as though I had ignored the other nipple enough, I took his right nipple into my mouth, leaving my fingers to fondle and play with the other nipple once more. His hands slid up to grip my shoulders as though to hold on for dear life as I began to lap at the sensitized flesh. When I flicked my tongue against the straining peak, I felt his nails sink into the skin of my back, but I was far too distracted by the sweet mindless mewls of pleasure he was making to really care. Gods, I was so hard steel looked like aluminum in comparison!

Meeting his molten golden gaze for an eternal instant, I nipped at him and he moaned my name loudly, blunt nails sinking deeper into my flesh. Heaven help me, but I would willing sacrifice every inch of flesh on my body and have it ripped off in strips, just so long as I had the chance to hold him this way. I pulled back a moment to inhale a harsh breath. "Oh, gods. So beautiful," I breathed out. Looking at him took my breath away, and my body didn't help matters by misinterpreting the slight burning pain of nails in my flesh as pleasure instead.

"_Gods_," I panted out, burying one hand in his hair to anchor me to reality. It couldn't be a dream if I could feel the heavy silk of his hair. It couldn't be a dream if I could feel his warm muscular body pressed tightly against mine. It couldn't be a dream, because I could never have imagined how sexy his voice was when he moaned out my name.

Sliding my hand down the planes of his abs summoned a sharp inhalation from his lips. When my hand caressed his cock, he called out my name loudly, his hips instinctively thrusting against my hand as though to beg for more contact. I marveled over this man –so lithe, so lean, so muscular yet so sensitive. For some reason, I supposed, I hadn't expected his cock to be this large, his body to be this eager, or his taste to be so sweet. Either that, or I'd been merely attempting to convince myself of reasons I shouldn't touch him that I hadn't thought about how things might be if I _did._

_Gods, how I love having him right where I want him! _The number of years I'd spent craving _this _with _him_ was frankly embarrassing. I had never thought I would ever get the chance to hold him again. I had told myself over and over that the single night, almost three years ago, was the only time I'd ever feel his body pressed against mine, taste his kisses, be witness such a fathomless hunger for a man he so clearly despised. Yet it seemed that all of those assurances had been false, because here he was, pressed so tightly between my body and the wall, writing and bucking hungrily against me, making the sweetest noises known to gods and men, raining butterfly-light kisses on every inch of my skin that he could reach.

You know, for being the man I was, with so many faults that there was no point in trying to count them all, Fate had definitely just declared it's undying love to me with these few moments that seemed eternal. For all of the wrongs, I must have done something incredibly right to deserve this. Or perhaps the fact of the matter was that I didn't deserve this at all. A beautiful young man I had loved only from a distance, only in silence, offering himself to me and touching me and kissing me… there was no reason I deserved such a thing.

Craved it, absolutely. Hells yes, I had wanted it. Prayed for it, definitely. Never _ever_ was I deserving of it.

Yet here he was, in my arms. _This is the definition of a miracle,_ I thought to myself. _Edward Elric is my own personal miracle._

One hand slid up to play in my hair. His fingers felt warm against my scalp, his breath warm against my neck as he breathed out my name. "Roy," he panted out softly. "I... I want you. Now."

Any resolve I might have somehow retained shattered and dissolved into dust. _Just how many times have I longed to hear him say that? How many times have I drempt of him in my arms this way? How many times?_

Impatience got the best of me. I hurried to my desk, thanking whatever gods that might be listening that I kept a bottle of lube in the top drawer of my desk, even though I never used it. Returning quickly to his side, I pressed a hard kiss to his full lips before dropping to my knees before him and looking up at him.

His face flushed as he looked down at me, apparently finding something appealing about the image of me on my knees before him. I gave him a rakish smirk and squirted a quarter-sized dab of the gel into the palm of my hand. As he looked onward, I made a show of coating three of my fingers in the slick substance. His breath left his lungs in heavy pants, and I thought they sounded beautiful. He had fair enough warning before I slid the first finger into him. I marveled at how smoothly it slid in, at the moan that sounded like approval. After sliding the slick finger in and out of him a few times, I added a second and continued to streach him, scissoring my fingers against the tight muscular sheath. The small mewls of pain that slipped past his lips made me feel guilty, but I continued, knowing I would only feel worse if I tore him because I didn't prepare him properly. When I came to the coclusion that I had done as much as I could with two fingers, I added the third. The loud shuddery sound of pleasure that ripped out of the back of his throat would have brought me to my knees if I wasn't already on him. I watched as his back arched and he thrust his hips against the finger buried inside of him.

"What a beautiful noise, Ed," I murmured, thrusting my fingers against that point once more before removing them slowly. His whimper of loss was almost as glorious as that noise had been. Rising to my full height, I leaned into him so I could whisper in his ear. "When you make noises like those, Ed, it makes me want to forget everything but entering you as quickly as possible," I rasped out, feeling him shiver against me at such a delaration.

Thrusting into him was a delicate, slow process. I didn't want to rush him and I didn't want to hurt him, so I maintained a long, slow, steady thrust until I was completely seated in him. A low growl curled out of his throat as he wrapped his legs tightly around my waist, pulling me in even deeper. I had to wonder if equal measures of that growl were pain and pleasure. Either way, it was his move next.

I didn't have to wait long on him. The way he flexed his hips drew sounds of pleasure from both of us. Swallowing hard, I began moving inside of him, careful to keep my pace slow until he could get used to the motion, as well. Trying to distract him from any lingering pain, I wrapped my hand around him and kept time with the rhythm my hips had taken. His loud answering moan spurred me to increase my speed.

The dirty sounds of sex had never been something I found all that appealing. However, there was something about the sounds this time –my flesh slapping against his, the mutual panting, the low wanton moans he released, and any assortment of other pleasure noises we managed to draw from each other– that served to increase my arousal. Of course, that might have had something to do with the fact it was _him _–or the fact that I had long held a fantasy of taking him here, in this office. Whatever the case, the sounds spurred me on, as well.

"Oh, god. Roy!" he cried out, arching again and somehow taking me deeper. "I-I'm going to come!"

Increasing my speed once more, I angled my thrust just _so _and collided directly with his prostate. Sinking my teeth into the flesh of his right shoulder, where the sun-kissed skin skin connected to the silvery metal of his automail. He half-moaned, half-screamed my name and tightened around me. gritting my teeth, I moved again, striking his prostate once more.

Roaring my name, he spilled all over my hand. It took every ounce of restraint I had to hold back so I could watch his pleasue. I lasted only a few more strokes before I surrendered to the convulsing heat. Biting his shoulder again, I tried to smother the volume of my cry as I came.

Boneless, my knees turned to jelly from sheer pleasure, we slid down the wall. Somehow, I manages to slow our decent enough that it didn't hit when we hit the floor, but I was still so pleaure blind that we ended up that way with my cock still buried deeply inside of him.

"Gods. Gods, you're so beautiful. Fuck." I muttered, still somehow not in control of my tongue. As he settled against my chest comfortable, the words I'd sworn over and over again that I would never say slipped past my lips: "Good God, I love you, Ed."

Wide golden eyes stared back at me, unblinking and unseeing in sheer shock.

Fuck. Why had I said that? Why couldn't I have just held that all inside, like I was supposed to?

I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead against his shoulder, wondering if I had the right to hope that he might somehow love me in return.

* * *

_Would you believe that this chapter was originally only 784 words in length?_

_Now, it's 2015 words. I better than doubled it, just editing it o.O_

_Anyway~_

_OMG! Roy said the L word! What are we gonna do, what are we gonna _do?

_I wanted to post a chunk of this edit, but I really didn't want to stop posting before I finished the first sex scene . That's just cruel, to lead up to it and leave the crappy bad writing of the past! :P_

_I promise, I'm not done editing yet. I just wanted to get this much up for all of you. The next chapters should be up shortly –I've been concentrating on fixing this story._

_So! Let me know if this chapter painting dirty pictures in your head, made you cry happy tears, if you hated it… any of that stuff. Just write me a review or a PM and tell me. I want to know what you think and what you feel about this piece, even if it is the second time through it!_

_Ever at your pleasure,  
~Sins~_


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